508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
