Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
