it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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