Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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