addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
