you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
