I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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