but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
