it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
