Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize