the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
