So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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