I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
