i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Watching her eat just hurts me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
