Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
