I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
