Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
