I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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