How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
