i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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