Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize