He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
