After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
