would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
