We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
