he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
