i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize