College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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