who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
