My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
as a side note pls kill me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
