I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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