Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
