Dual....:-)
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
