i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize