he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There's always time for handjobs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
