Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize