I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize