can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
