My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
