I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
