I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize