I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
