I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
