whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
