girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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