i just google imaged poop.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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