Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
