3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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