Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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