just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
