first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
