can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
