the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
