If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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