He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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