last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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