just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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