$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
