Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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