im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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