I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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