Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
