I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize