Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
