I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
