i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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