I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
