i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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