You can't special order awesome
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Randomize
