he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
